Monday, September 12, 2011

But it's not Friday yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's only Monday, but after a day of tears and heartache, I need a good laugh. So, this one is for my new blogosphere buddies. Most seem to be former Marines, or served in some other branch of service. But they are the only ones, besides for my wife who seem too share my heartache. This is to all of you, from me, with warmest regards...............................................................

An officer in the U.S. Naval reserve was attending a conference that included Admirals from both U.S. Navy, and French Navy. At a cocktail reception he found himself in a small group that included personnel from both navies.

The French Admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans learned only English. He then asked, "Why is it that we have to speak English at these conferences, rather than you speak French?"

The American Admiral replied, "Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadiens, and Americans arranged it so that you would not have to speak German."

..........................:-)

17 comments:

  1. Johnny,

    One of my favorites. How about this one:

    Three buddies joined the service right out of high school, one in the Navy, one Army, and one in the Marines. After boot camp, and their advanced training, the sailor and Marine were assigned to Camp Lejeune, while the soldier was stationed at Fort Bragg. So they naturally decided to carpool home on holidays.

    Around Thanksgiving, the sailor and Marine stopped at Bragg, picked up the doggie, and were on their way home. In the middle of nowhere, the vehicle broke down. The three stout young lads walked about two miles down the road until they reached a small farm. They asked the farmer if they could spend the night, and he said sure. But he only had room in the house for two, so one of them would have to sleep in the barn.

    The young Marine, knowing that he was way tougher than the other two, volunteered to sleep in the barn. After a bite to eat, and a toast from the farmer, the three lads went off to bed.

    About fifteen minutes later, there was a knock at the door. There stood the Marine. He said, "I can't take it. Those animals stink to high Heaven, and I just can't do it."

    So the young sailor laughed and said he would show the Marine how tough squids are, so he headed out to the barn.

    About two minutes later, there was a knock at the door, and there stood the young sailor. He also complained of the rankness of the animals.

    So the young soldier laughed and calling the Marine and the sailor sissies, he headed off to the barn.

    About thirty seconds later, there was a knock at the door. There stood all the animals.

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  2. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL---- That's good

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  3. A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

    'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?'

    'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.'

    The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, 'It looks like you have seen a lot of action.'

    'Yes, ma'am, a lot of action.

    The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'

    The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?'

    '1955, ma'am.'

    'Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!'

    The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his serious voice, 'I hope not, it's only 2130 now.'

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  4. U.S. Navy Directive 16134 ( Inappropriate T-Shirts )

    The following directive was issued by the commanding officer of all naval installations in the Middle East . (It was obviously directed at the Marines.)

    To: All Commands
    Subject: Inappropriate T-Shirts
    Ref: ComMidEast For Inst 16134//24 K

    All commanders promulgate upon receipt. The following T-shirts are no longer to be worn on or off base by any military or civilian personnel serving in the Middle East :

    1. 'Eat Pork or Die' [both English and Arabic versions]

    2. 'Shrine Busters' [Various. Show burning minarets or bomb/artillery shells impacting Islamic shrines.. Some with unit logos.]

    3. 'Goat - it isn't just for breakfast anymore.' [Both English and Arabic versions]

    4. 'The road to Paradise begins with me.' [Mostly Arabic versions, but some in English. Some show sniper scope cross-hairs.]

    5. 'Guns don't kill people. I kill people.' [Both Arabic and English versions]

    6. 'Pork. The other white meat.' [Arabic version]

    7. 'Infidel' [English, Arabic and other coalition force languages.]

    The above T-shirts are to be removed from Post Exchanges upon receipt of this directive. In addition, the following signs are to be removed upon
    receipt of this message:

    1. 'Islamic Religious Services Will Be Held at the Firing Range at 0800 Daily.'

    2. 'Do we really need 'smart bombs' to drop on these dumb bastards?'

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  5. Playboy magazine has reportedly offered Sarah Palin $4,000,000 to pose nude in an upcoming issue.

    Michelle Obama was offered $75 by National Geographic.

    In other news... we all remember when KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) offered a "Hillary Meal" consisting of 2 small breasts and 2 large thighs. Now, KFC is
    offering the "Obama Cabinet Bucket." It consists of nothing but left wings and assholes.

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  6. H-Nox, Lucky I already got my "Infidel" (in English and Arabic) baseball caps in white and green.

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  7. Here's a good one: Dakota Meyer was ambling through the cafeteria of his Kentucky high school in 2006 when he came upon a recruiter for the Marines. Curious, the beefy senior struck up a conversation but told the recruiter that he was hoping to play college football after graduation. "Yeah that's what I would do, because there's no way you could be a Marine," the recruiter told him.

    Read more: http://www.star-telegram.com/2011/09/14/3368694/marine-vet-from-kentucky-to-receive.html#ixzz1Y7Ulyx7s

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  8. Johnny O',

    This Mud guy continues to be a prick. When considering joining the Marines to get money for college, my dad, a Marine legend, said if all you want is money for college, go join the army. For 2 years of service, they'll give you thousands for school. After hearing the army recruiters spiel, I walked across to the Marine recruiter and told him the army was set to give me a shitload of stuff. What would he give me? The recruiter, a Staff Sergeant who had been after me for two years to introduce him to my father, said he wouldn't give me a fucking thing, except the opportunity to maybe call myself a Marine someday. That challenge was all I needed to get me into boot camp. That challenge was all Dakota Meyer needed too. A great American, and a good Marine. He did his four years and got out. But he proved to that recruiter, and to himself, that he could be a good Marine. Challenge accepted and answered. No jokes.

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  9. Don't bother with the douche known as mud as he isn't qualified to clean a Marine latrine.

    He's a lonely, hateful old man.

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  10. Mud_Sling,

    You have no concept of truth, honor, or courage. I pity you. You're a pathetic creature.

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  11. Maybe he is a prick guys, but I don't mind him. I post on his blog, and I will continue too let him post on mine. We all need to be tolerant of different views, even if they are presented with some sort of anger................

    TGP- You have mentiomed your Father numerous times. No disrespect intended, but who is/was he, and what is/was his name? Can I actually look up his military career by googling him? Sounds like a good man, and I'm just curious.

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  12. Johnny,
    That man could eat broken glass for breakfast. He is a Marine's Marine, and yes he is a good man.

    Send me your email via my blog. I won't post it for others to see and I will send you a link privately.

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  13. ...funny how one man's 'joke' is another's irritant, isn't it?

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  14. TGP- You have mentiomed your Father numerous times. No disrespect intended, but who is/was he, and what is/was his name? Can I actually look up his military career by googling him? Sounds like a good man, and I'm just curious.

    Interesting question J.O.B. Perhaps it falls into the realm of fantasy.

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  15. Johnny O',

    I consider Mud's remarks above as an invitation to an ass whipping. I'd be interested to hear your opinion of what to do when someone begs for an ass whipping.

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  16. TGP- If a homeless man begs you for a dollar, would you give it to him. If yes, a ass-whoopin might be in order. If no, I recommend a turn-the-other-cheek outlook.

    H-Nox- job60445@yahoo.com

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  17. Tenth & Johnny,

    Mud is too old to survive an ass kicking. Besides you'll need to drive to Toledo to do it. You might want to sub-contract to Sepp. He lives there.

    ReplyDelete