Saturday, November 5, 2011

Johnny O'Bloggin's Funny Ass (belated) Friday!!!!!!!!!!!

What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt have in common?

They both had big hits with the wall.


  1. Hmmm, not sure that's your funniest, but I get it. What does a policeman and a bucket of shit have in common?

    Depends on how full the bucket is.

  2. LOLOLO- you must be a Nascar fan TGP.

  3. Not really, but Earnhardt was a local hero. But I get the joke the same as the last thing that went through Osama's mind as he faced the Navy Seal? A copper jacketed piece of lead.

  4. A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came
    upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.

    Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked
    over the menu.

    Tourists - $ 5.00

    Broiled Missionary - $10.00

    Fried Explorers - $15.00

    Baked Politician - $85.00

    The cannibal called the waiter over and asked: "Why such a high price for politicians?"

    The cook called out from the kitchen: "Have you ever tried to clean one of those things? They're so full of shit it takes all morning!!"

  5. A woman goes into Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

    A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

    He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes."

    She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.

    He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. test line. It's a good all around combination and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."

    She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.

    "Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says.

    She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

    The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."

    The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"

    He replies, "Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Bear Repellent is $3.50."

  6. H/Nox- The first one was good, but the second one was great. Two thumbs up,,,,way up. Very good my man

  7. Thanks. I have more. I'll post them Friday.