Patrick O'Malley hoisted his beer and said: "Here's to spending the rest of my life between the legs of my wife!" - and he took home the top prize for the best toast of the night.
In bed later that night, he told his wife: "Mary, I
won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, Paddy, what was
So he told her: "Here's to spending the rest of my life
sitting in church beside my wife."
"Oh," she said, "that is very nice,
The next day, Mary ran into one of Paddy's drinking partners in
the street. Mischievously, the man said: "Did you hear about your husband
winning a prize in the pub the other night for a toast about you, Mary?"
She replied: "Yeah - and I was a bit surprised. Till now, he's only been
down there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by
the ears to make him come".