Saturday, December 10, 2011

Johnny O'Bloggin's Funny Ass Friday (Belated as always)

One size fits all and you can move this device from one vehicle to another on a moment's notice ! And it keeps getting better !

You can have this state of the art anti-car-jacking device for not $99.95, not $79.95, not even $29.95.

This new device is being offered for the first time free of charge to the first person who responds !

So don't miss this chance in a life time offer. Claim your new Anti-Carjacking device before supplies
run out !

There aren't many to go around.



  2. You should have posted an "eye-bleach" warning at the top of the page.

    Good that your neighbor?

  3. The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase.

    The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.

    She asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"

    Maria: "Well, Senora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze."

    "The first is that I iron better than you."

    Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"

    Maria: "Jor huzban he say so."

    Wife: "Oh yeah?"

    Maria: "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you."

    Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"

    Maria: "Jor hozban did."

    Wife increasingly agitated "Oh he did, did he??"

    Maria: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed."

    Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth.
    "And did my husband say that as well?"

    Maria: "No Senora....... The gardener did."

    Wife: "So how much do you want ?"

  4. A professor at the University of Wisconsin was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students.

    Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to spice up his lecture.

    He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, "Do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"

    She replied, "Probably deer hunting with his buddies."

  5. H/Nox- The jokes were wonderful, but you obviously have not heard of my new reality show..........National Geographic Girls Gone Wild..............

  6. What do you call a black man sitting next to a monkey, in a tree?

  7. What do you call a black man flying a plane?

    A pilot, you racist.


  9. A college professor, an avowed Atheist, was teaching his class.

    He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated he was going to prove there was no God.

    Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!"

    The lecture room fell silent. You could have heard a pin fall.

    Ten minutes went by. Again he taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God. I'm still waiting."

    His count-down got down to the last couple of minutes when a Marine - just released from active duty and newly registered in the class - walked up to the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him tumbling from his lofty platform.

    The professor was out cold! At first, the students were shocked and babbled in confusion. The young Marine took a seat in the front row and sat silent.

    The class fell silent...waiting.

    Eventually, the professor came to, shaken he looked at the young Marine in the front row. When the professor regained his senses and could speak he asked: "What's the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

    "God was busy. He sent the Marines."

  10. CS,

    You forgot:

    "God also said I was to keep knocking you on your ass until you kneel before him and admit you are wrong."

    I wonder how many more minutes the "No God" lecture would last after that?