Friday, April 20, 2012

Johnny O'Bloggin's Funny Ass Friday............

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."

Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher, "I guess the one sucking the cone."

"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."

3 comments:

  1. Hello J.O.B.
    Yea that sucking the ice cream cone is in my prenup. :-) Enjoyed your Friday Funny.

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  2. A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.

    He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat .. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

    Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"

    She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston"

    He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

    Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

    "Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

    "Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

    "Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

    Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.

    I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

    Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name.."

    "Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."

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  3. EOK- Thanks Bud.

    H/NOX- That was fucking great.

    Q. Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week?


    A. Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!

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