Friday, June 1, 2012

Johnny O'Bloggin's Funny Ass Friday...............

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said, "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow."
"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be all right...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants,and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him.
She then asked him, "How does that feel?"
To which he replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."

1 comment:

  1. WHY PEOPLE HATE CLASS REUNIONS

    Cathy, Sue and Jane haven’t seen each other since High School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

    Cathy arrives first, wearing a beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

    Sue arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After the required ritualized kisses she joins Cathy in a glass of wine.

    Then Jane walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots. She too shares the wine.

    Cathy explains that after leaving high school and graduating from Princeton in Classics, she met and married Bill, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Bill is a partner in one of New York ‘s leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq. ft. co-op on Fifth Avenue , where Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in Phoenix .

    Sue relates that she graduated from Harvard Med School and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clint, is a leading Wall Street investment banker. They live in Southampton on Long Island and have a second home in Naples, Florida .

    Jane explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her boyfriend, Ted. They run a tropical bird park in Memphis and grow their own vegetables. Ted can stand five parrots, side by side, on his penis.

    Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Cathy blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Wal-Mart. They live in a small apartment in Brooklyn and have a travel trailer parked at a nearby storage facility.

    Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend’s honesty, explains that she and Clint are both nurses’ aides in a retirement home. They live in Jersey City and take vacation camping trips to Alabama.

    Jane admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.

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