Saturday, December 8, 2012

Will you stand beside me?

 As of this very moment, I have had 17,695 page views on my blog. I have made quite a few great friends, some of who I speak with on a more personal level. But I can't do this any more. What I mean is this blog, or at least what it has become. Most of you know me on an intimate level. But what you don't know, is that I've been battling depressive mood swings for the last seven years. I have recently reached a point that is beyond my control
  I started blogging in June '11. I figured I would mix a little bit of wit, a little humor, but most importantly, a little bit of me. My goal has always been to put a smile on everyone's face. Whether through banter, jokes, or even truth. I guess that comes through a childhood that "Hollywood Liberals" would call awful. I just called it growing up. But I have always had some strange "need" to make everyone feel comfortable, regardless of how I feel.
 But I have finally reached a point where I can no longer oblige. Non of you know me on a completely intimate level, and that's the way I prefer it. But my life has taken an unexpected turn, and I feel as though I am spiraling. The only thing I can think to do, is to open up here. Not for praise, regret, prayers, or anything else of that matter. I just have a lot of shit pent up, and who better to tell than a public who is in arms distance.
 I am suspending the usual Monday, Wednesday, and Friday posts. I am also suspending any political shit. I will be posting on America working for obvious reasons. I will also finish my series on Entitlements. Just because if you start something, you should finish it.
 Everyone can expect a lot more music posts. Only because that is the one thing that always holds true in my life. WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!................ You mat not like the music...........................


  1. Man, I can relate to your post more than you will ever know...Maybe I have the advantage of perhaps 30 more years of going through this shit than you have had...I know how it feels to stand neck deep in crap and feel like maybe the best thing would be to close my eyes and just sink.....
    But, it always gets better and I know you know that. If you are blogging to express yourself, then stop trying to make everyone feel better...that's impossible. Let the assholes who are offended by what you think provide the fodder for your own amusement! We have different approaches to what we think we know, but I often think that we are just taking different roads to get to the same place. I have lived a lifetime of loving and making music that many of my present friends think sounds like a horrible industrial catastrophe. I have learned how important it is to cultivate my eccentricity and be so fucklng grateful that I will never be like everybody else. This didn't start yesterday.
    I am psychotically drooling I have to stop, but first let me tell you how much respect I have for you, what you try to do here with your blog and believe me, I will always defend your right to be what ever you think you should be....and more Pantera, please! I saw them in their infancy.....

    1. Pantera will most likely be a very doable request Dottie.

  2. Standing with you John, I've got your back. Music is part of what pulled me out of my dark time. Rock on.

  3. Jon,

    I don't come around as much as I used to, but you got my number if you need to talk.

    Oddly enough, music also pulled me out of a bad patch. Willie Nelson on the radio singing "Without a Song". Nowhere close to the music I enjoyed at the time (Sabbath), but it reached inside me a jerked something out.

    Take care, bud, and I'll be around.

    1. Thanks T. Expect a call before the holidays, just to bull shit and see how everything is going.

  4. Find what makes you happy and do that, and screw everything else.

    Dropping politics is a smart move. It's all sock puppetry and kabuki anyway, and it will drive you crazy. That's why I jumped off the train.

  5. I'm a passenger on this train and I'm a deranged pirate trying to hijack it! Blogging to me is an art form, but most of what I do is art. Chain sawing, shoveling horse manure, working with photoshop and making animated gifs, writing about any thing and's all art. Politics make you feel helpless, ineffective and feeble? Honey, you're only pretty as you feel. You're only pretty as you feel inside.
    I know what I do has very little effect on a grand scale, but I also know that what I do has a big effect on a small scale. What ever your convictions are, never, ever give up.
    I may not change the world, but I have made ripples that made waves .....

  6. Thanks everyone. Everything will work out I'm sure. Will be posting a lot more stories, kind of like a biography. Might make you laugh, might make you cry. Might just make you say holy fuck! But it will definitely hold some therapeutic value. I think it will be fun too. I'll leave the politics to you people.