I'm Pregnant. What do you think?
After my divorce was finalized, it was time to catch up on lost youth. Sort of funny considering I was barely twenty six years old but I had to make up for lost time. Lost time meaning a lot of drinking, a lot of smoking, and a lot of fucking. After the initial shock and depression of divorce wore off I was off and running. I had youth, a great job, and nothing but time. I smoked a lot of dope. I drank a lot of beer. And I fucked a lot of whores. Although looking back on it, it would be unfair to call any of them whores, because I was in fact the whore. But this lovely story starts at a friend's wedding in early '03. Holy shit! Did I get wasted. I remember going out to the car with a bridesmaid and smoking some weed. She was kind enough to give me a blowjob in the parking lot. Good times, right?
We went back into the wedding an continued our collective good times. I should mention at this time, that even though I was a whore and a pig, I was honest with all the women I whored with. I let everyone know off the bat that I was not interested in a long term girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. With that said, I was at the table bullshitting with some buddies. I was stoned out of my mind and drunk as hell. I may have even indulged in some blow (cocaine). Who could remember with all the debauchery. And then she walked over and sat down. Just another whore in my eyes, but she was beautiful. She was also my friend's cousin. We both ended up walking back to my hotel room after the post wedding party. I remember that one famous line. "You can't wear a condom. I'm allergic to latex". Whoo hoo I thought.
The next morning when I awoke, I was shocked for two reasons. First, this broad was ugly. Second, how the fuck did I allow myself to not wear a rubber? I showered, got dressed, and prepared to leave when she asked, "So when will we see each other again?" "UHHHH, did I say we would?" "No", she replied. I explained to her that what ever happened, happened, but I was not looking for a monogamous relationship. To my amazement, she replied,"That's fine. I was leaning more towards friends with benefits." So from that point on, I would call her every once in awhile. We would get together and fuck. Looking back, I must have been drunk and stoned, because she really wasn't attractive. This carried on for about five months, when suddenly I received a call from this woman asking if I would like to go to dinner. At first I declined, but she persisted. So I eventually agreed. At Dinner, she dropped the bomb that she was pregnant. I was shocked. Not because I impregnated a woman, But because this woman told me that it was okay that I didn't wear a condom because she had ovarian cancer as a teenager and pregnancy was an impossibility. Not to mention her severe allergies to latex. Of course, I brought this up. I was told that it was some freak miracle of God, at which point I replied, "I don't believe in God". So she asked me,"Would you like me to get an abortion?" I replied, "Absolutely not! I just need a day or two to process this."
But I really didn't. At the very moment I received this information, I knew I was ready for this. I was ready to be a Father. I was ready to share all the knowledge that I lived a quarter century to gain. I was ready to share my heart, my love. But most importantly, I was ready to experience true love. The only problem was that I was not ready to share this experience with this woman. Looking back on it, I knew this bitch was crazy, but I spent days trying to figure out the best case for my child. I contemplated life with her and life without her. I was very conflicted. What would be best for a child born into this situation? The Mother and the Father being consenting adults, who acted as care free whores. After three days, I called this woman so that we can have Dinner. You told me, "I'm Pregnant. What do you think?" I said, "It's too bad that this kid will not be born under ideal conditions, but I will never be in a relationship with you. However, I am ready to be a Father, and look forward to being in my kid's life."
"Perfect", she replied. "I'm nowhere ready to be married or anything, but I am looking forward to being a Mom". From the very beginning, I had my doubts. But I was not ready to go through what my parents went through. I wasn't prepared to be 50 years old and hating the fact that I was married. I lived and experienced how devastating it can be for a child to live with two people who stayed together for "The Kids". The problem was that from the very beginning, I doubted this woman's sincerity. But I was excited none the less. I was excited to be in the life of a child that I created. I was excited to pass on the little knowledge that I had. But most importantly, I was excited at the fact that I helped bring a human life into this world. And that we would share all the experiences that a Father and child experience.
In the end, out of all the things that occurred in my life at this point, this was the most fulfilling. The only problem was that I didn't know what to expect from this woman. I had my fingers crossed that it would be painless and loving. But because of my opinion on this woman and her deception, I feared the worst. But I could never imagine how these future events would transpire.